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| thats exactly how i felt |
I've tried to tell them why...but i can never give them the whole story. They dont wake up every morning scared that one of their friends wont want to be friends anymore. Or that they will be alone. They dont pray every night that what happened in fifth grade wont happen again. I know what you are thinking. What happened in fifth grade? Well i didnt exactly have any friends. Sure some people would say hi but they had other people to walk and talk with. That year was miserable. Every year i think i can let go of that and start fresh. But i cant let go of that year. I cant let go of my fears. Every time my friend ditches me i feel like that what happened in fifth grade is going to happen again. I dont want them thinking im jealous im just scared that i will be alone again. They are so lucky they dont have to worry about this but i do every day. And i feel so alone, like no one will ever get it. I always feel like they wont ever get it. But i want those people to know that this is why i get sad at times. This is why i stop talking and look lonely. I go back to the times when people hated me. And im not annoyed by them asking whats wrong. Im annoyed because i dont want to think about whats wrong. So go ahead and ask now this is what i will tell you. Im scared and no matter how strong i look, when it comes to this im weak.
<333Kiley
Kiley...
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to understand you.
When I tell you this, you might not believe it.
But I can feel the same way. I get afraid that one little thing I do, it can cause friendships to end.
Now, I kind of know what happened...
but I only got one side of the story. Because I am your friend I can see it in your eyes when somethings wrong. You are just strong enough to hide it sometimes.
I just hope you know you can tell me anything whenever...and as a friend I shouldn't think less of you.
Got that?
Okay. I am texting you now.
~Brea. <3